


Please Forgive Yourself

by SilverMoonSky



Series: Adrinette April 2020 [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A Little bit of Fluff?, Adrinette April 2020, Aged-Up Character(s), Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Mentioned Lila Rossi, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Protective Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, taking care of each other, they care more for each other than themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 08:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoonSky/pseuds/SilverMoonSky
Summary: “They don’t need Ladybug.” Multimouse’s bitter tone was scathing. “Not after what she did to them.”“What happened wasn’t your fault.”“It was my fault!” She snapped. Adrien recoiled at her forcefulness. “It was my fault I got akumatized, my fault Paris was practically left in ruins, and my fault I nearly killed you!” Multimouse suddenly detransformed, leaving Marinette in her place. She was shaking from head to toe, heaving in huge breaths as she tried to calm herself down.Written for Day 3: Multimouse and Adrien for Adrinette April.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Adrinette April 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685854
Comments: 6
Kudos: 253
Collections: Adrinette April 2020





	Please Forgive Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> When I feel happy, you get fluff. When I’m not happy, you get angst. So enjoy :D

Multimouse didn’t trust Chat Noir to get home and catch up on some well-needed rest. He always tended to linger after their patrols, which bothered her immensely. It was why she forced herself to lead him to his house every single night, whether as Ladybug or as Multimouse.  _ Someone  _ had to take care of him, after all.

She jumped through the open glass and landed just beside the windowsill. Chat followed behind her, immediately detransforming back into Adrien once he was in the safety of his home. He glanced over at her in concern. Multimouse ignored the gesture.

“Now go get some rest,” Multimouse said, turning away. “I’ll leave you here.” She braced herself to jump back through the window when Adrien caught her arm.

“Wait,” he begged. “Talk to me. Please.”

Multimouse met Adrien’s gaze. In it she could see all the pleas and cries he’d been holding back for the last couple of days, yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it. She  _ knew _ he wanted her to talk. To let everything out. But she couldn’t. There was just no way they could talk about what had happened without either of them breaking down. It would just be best to let it go, and to leave it in the past like it was supposed to be. If she brought it up, she was sure to say things that would hurt him. And that was the last thing she wanted.

“What’s there to talk about?” She asked. Multimouse gently tugged her arm away from him. He let go.

Adrien stared at her worriedly. “Marinette, you’re obviously not yourself,” he said. He reached out to take her in his arms, but once again she pulled away. “Bugaboo,  _ please. _ Talk to me.”

“What’s done is done,” Multimouse said. “We don’t need to keep reminiscing over it, Adrien.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “You can’t stay as Multimouse forever, my lady. You know that as well as I do. Paris needs  _ Ladybug _ , not Multimouse.”

“They don’t need Ladybug.” Multimouse’s bitter tone was scathing. “Not after what she did to them.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault.”

“It  _ was _ my fault!” She snapped. Adrien recoiled at her forcefulness. “It was my fault I got akumatized, my fault Paris was practically left in ruins, and my fault I nearly  _ killed _ you!” Multimouse suddenly detransformed, leaving Marinette in her place. She was shaking from head to toe, heaving in huge breaths as she tried to calm herself down.

_ Breathe.  _ Breathe _. In, out, in, out, in, out. . . . it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. As long as you keep it together, everything will be fine. Adrien doesn’t need to worry about you. He has other things to take care of. Just keep it together, breathe, it’ll be fine, it’ll be okay-- _

She wasn’t okay though. Everything  _ wasn’t _ fine, and it wouldn’t ever be again. Adrien was right. She hadn’t been herself since she’d let Hawk Moth take advantage of her. But who else was she supposed to be? She didn’t know who she was anymore. Ever since that butterfly had flown into her earrings, taken reign of her emotions, enhanced her frustration and anger, turning them into something uncontrollable. . . .

She had gone on a rampage across Paris. Buildings destroyed, streets littered, people scattered from their homes; she’d bestowed fear in the people she  _ cared _ about, the people she would die to protect. How could she ever forgive herself for causing that much chaos? She was supposed to be strong. She was  _ Ladybug _ , damnit. She was the  _ last  _ person Paris needed to be akumatized. And because she’d let  _ one _ thing Lila did get to her. . . . because of  _ one _ thing Lila had said, she’d let the resentment carry over into her alter ego. . . . and due to her carelessness, they would never trust her again. Why should they, anyway?

Worst of all was the footage that continued to loop on the new stations even days after everything was over. It made her sick to her stomach. Watching her akumatized self slam Chat Noir into buildings, yelling hurtful words at him. . . . she  _ hated _ it. How could Adrien even tolerate her after all that she’d done? She wasn’t cut out to be Ladybug; she never had been. Master Fu had made the wrong choice by choosing her to be the Guardian. If she couldn’t even protect her own Miraculous, how could she protect the rest of them?

It was why the Ladybug Miraculous was now locked up in the Miracle box, where it belonged. Chat had fought like hell to make sure she and the Miraculous would be safe, and she couldn’t just start wearing the earrings again. She couldn’t trust herself to take care of them. She didn’t care that Tikki had been extremely upset and disappointed--she couldn’t bring herself to repeat the same mistake.

The public didn’t know that Multimouse and Ladybug were the same person; the only ones who knew were her and Adrien. This identity was her outlet. She just couldn’t be Ladybug right now. She couldn’t bear to hear the disappointment and anger from everyone around her. It was best to be Multimouse. She could start fresh, everything would be okay, and Adrien wouldn’t have to worry. . . .

Tears were visibly streaming down her face now. Marinette buried her face into her hands.

“I’m sorry,” she croaked. “I--I’m so sorry I’m making you worry about me. This is all my fault.”

Adrien reached out, and this time Marinette let him hug her. She buried her face into the crook of his neck as Adrien pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He slowly rubbed her back, murmuring soothingly into her ear.

“It wasn’t your fault, Mari,” he murmured, “I don’t blame you. No one does.”

“You--you don’t know that. Marinette closed her eyes. Already she could feel her tense heartbeat receding as he continued to rub gentle circles against her skin. She could always trust Adrien to calm her down.

“You need to forgive yourself first, bugaboo. I can’t help you unless you do that. Everyone feels negative emotions. It doesn’t matter that you’re Ladybug; you can’t expect yourself to be strong all the time.”

She looked up at him and met his eyes with her own. “But what if I can’t? I don’t  _ want _ to forgive myself, kitty, that’s the problem,” she whispered.

Adrien gently brushed her bangs to the side and once again pressed his lips against her forehead in a comforting gesture. He smiled. “Just try your best. Forgiving yourself is the only way you’re going to move on.”

_ He’s right, _ the rational voice in her head agreed.  _ People’s faith in Ladybug will be restored someday. But the only way you’re going to heal is by forgiving yourself first. _

Marinette kept those words in mind even after she’d calmed herself down and transformed once again, heading home. As she lay in her bed as Multimouse, staring at the closet where the Ladybug Miraculous currently rested, it was all that was on her mind.

_ Forgive yourself, bugaboo, _ Adrien had said.

_ It’s not your fault, Marinette! _ Tikki had piped up just before she’d taken the earrings off.

_ The people of Paris want you to know that we don’t blame you for the akumatization,  _ Nadja Chamack had reported.  _ Ladybug is still Paris’s superheroine, regardless of what happened. _

_ Maybe they’re right, _ Multimouse mused. Adrien had been adamant to tell her that he didn’t blame her, and that it wasn’t her fault. And according to Nadja, most of Paris felt the same way.

Her phone suddenly lit up with a text. Multimouse reached over to see that it was Adrien.

_ Ilysm <3 please love yourself too, my lady. _

Her heart warmed with affection to know that he cared so much about her. And he was right. Of course he was. Though it would take a long time to find enough sympathy to forgive herself, she knew it wouldn’t hurt to try. It was the least she could do for herself, and for Adrien, who deserved the world for taking care of her so well.

And so Multimouse texted him back.

_ I’ll try. Ily too <3 _

**Author's Note:**

> I think this can still be counted as Adrinette April? It turned into a lot of self-care stuff instead, whoops :P How Marinette was akumatized and what she did while she was is entirely up to speculation. I didn't really put much thought into that as I wrote this. I hope you enjoyed :)


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